December 25, 2007


Congrats to everybody! You're all brilliant, but these ten (eleven, really) have been selected by a group of peopleI consider smart and funny. Well done all.

10th PLACE (Two-way tie)
On the topic of Christmas Movies (Specifically, Jack Frost, Jingle All The Way, It’s a Wonderful Life, and Scrooged )
By Jared Pike

In "Die Hard," the stunt work's ornate
And "Wonderful Life"
might be great
But the pic of the year
Is "Scrooged," and it's clear
That the reason is Bobcat Goldthwait

On the topic of Transubstantiation
By Jim Janknegt

The Baptists sing, "Let your light shine"
It's for Jesus's presence they pine.
They pray to the air
When He's actually there
Body and Blood in the Bread and the Wine.

On the topic of Christmas Movies (Specifically, Jack Frost, Jingle All The Way, It’s a Wonderful Life, and Scrooged)
By Brian Bateman

The days of James Stewart have passed
Mike Keaton’s career ended fast
Die Hard tried to thrill us
(What you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?)
And Arnold stopped acting at last

6th PLACE (3-way tie)

On the topic of the Left Behind book series:
By Dan Buck

I once read a book by Lahaye
That told the story of Earth's last days
but his theological woes
are worse than his prose
In Heaven he'll room with Thomas Kincaid.

On the Emergent Church:
By Brian Bateman

Our church changed liturgical roots:
On Sundays, no dresses or suits.
The candles are hip;
As a side benefit,
We lost all our crotchety coots

On McDonald’s Monopoly:
By Dan Buck

I stomach foods that defy my dietary code
All in the hopes of hitting the mother load
But after gaining a ton
All I've really won
Is McDiarreah and 32 Reading Railroads


On topic of “Chee-tohs”
By lindsay e.

I simply can't dote on a cheeto
without showing love to a frito
and then there are lays
I could eat those for days
and let’s not forget the dorito.

On the Topic of urinal etiquette:
By Jared Pike

Any man's got to know what it takes
To shower those urinal cakes
But Dad always told me,
"Don't pee so boldly;
You'll go blind with more than three shakes."

2nd PLACE (two-way tie)

On the topic Thanksgiving Dinner:
By Carver

Thanksgiving Day at the girlfriend’s house,
In her room, we’re quiet as a mouse,
Her folks like me well,
But her father would yell,
If he saw my hand under her blouse.

On the Topic of Biscotti:
by DadaDrummer

I was dining in Rome with Pavarotti
We had pasta and shared a hot toddy.
After tiramisu
I said “I love you”
And that’s when he showed me his biscotti.

AND THE FIRST PLACE LIMERICK (as voted by judges)....

On Halloween:
By Brian Bateman

We reject all this Halloween rot!
As Christians we’ve always been taught
To avoid worldly rites;
We’re at church on that night—
So our neighborly contact is naught

Look for LIMERICK TUESDAY XI on Jan. 1st, 2008!

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