December 04, 2007


Welcome once again to the Web's best limerick contest about randomly assigned topics.

Here are your topics:
  • TV Christmas Specials
  • Transubstantiation
  • Final Exams
  • This guy...

As always, you may cover multiple topics half-assedly (like the Golden Corral of Limerickry) or you may just do one topic with aplomb (Like the Krispy Kreme of Limerickry).

Here's my shot at Transub.:

The catholics believe, as some of you know

That raising wine and bread is more than a show

Even though it's habitual

I think it's just ritual

Because it still tastes like six-dollar merlot.

Well, I'll step back away so my hard drive doesn't get fried by the lightning.


Anonymous said...

Though the T.V. has A Christamas Story,
A Very Brady Christmas... and Maury,
Nothing better I've found,
Christmas cheer has been bound,
To "This Guy" in all of his glory.


Prof. Osler said...

I remain devoted, Heat Miser;
On TV, there is no one wiser,
Green Christmas, hooray!
Shop for all on eBay,
For myself, something from Pfizer.

jared pike said...

This 80's nativity screening
Shows how far America's leaning
It's shameful behavior
When Pac-Man's our savior
We've truly arrived at de-meaning

jared pike said...

For the teacher who wants to be free
Standardized tests are the key
One student, one voice
In multiple choice
When in doubt, fill in circle B

jared pike said...

The champ Little Mac wants to be
But Piston Honda says, "We'll see..."
Von Kaiser he's icin'
While itchin' for Tyson
King Hippo just says, "Call on meeee!"

The Medievalist said...

Charlie Brown was from St. Paul,
Where he played a lot of baseball,
He went out for a tree,
And he got one for free,
Finding the meaning of Christmas after all.

Saint Antic said...

Let us see what I can come up with....

On sundays we partake of the wine and the bread
In order to remember Christ, back from the dead
Now I may be a Martyr
but there is some wine in that Water
Or Else it would all go to your head.

The Dada Drummer said...

A Eucharistic Limerick!

Incarnation means God lives within the mundane.
God’s Grace redeems what was onc e profane.
Human bread and wine
Sanctified by the Divine
Becomes a Holy Reality no one fully can explain.

Transubstantiated—made into something new.
The dogma includes bread and wine, me and you.
God’s power to infuse
This world with Good News
Keep’s me saying Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleliu!

carver said...

After the terrorist attack, we took stock,
But to our surprise, we were in for a shock,
As Gene Simmons said,
While scratching his head,
"Someone has kidnapped Santa? That does not rock!"

Brian Bateman said...

Frosty and Cindy Lou Who,
Rudolph and Charlie Brown too,
Would feel more like strangers
In front of the manger
Than before South Park’s Christmas Poo

Jim Janknegt said...

I guess turnabout is fair play : )

The Baptist sing, "Let your light shine"

It's for Jesus presence they pine.

They pray to the air

When He's actually there

Body and Blood in the Bread and the Wine.

Jake said...

Tis the season for Christmas specials to show up,
If I could, then I'd just pass the cup,
Plots too hackneyed for me,
And I SWEAR if I see,
Another romantic comedy about a woman who falls in love with a jerk that turns out to be Santa Clause...

Shane Alexander said...

You ask, when does the substance of the host
Become Christ like the Catholics do boast?
Praying over the substantials
Leaves but accidentals
Of the bread and wine that mean the most.

Brad said...

Grad student crafts paper, no final exam
Now sees procrastination is a sham
His thoughts are a-scatter
Really, what do grades matter?
Paper is due, so who gives a damn.

Brad said...

It's like a chronic disease or addiction, isn't it? Plus, I'm not so good at it.... Please be kind--I'm in philosophy, after all.

My MFA friend oozes 'creative' and 'cool'
And his limericks make me laugh like a fool
But enough being blogged
I'm bound to be flogged
by my wife, if I fail out of grad school.


DanBuck said...

I'm feelin this last one. Got a paper due in less than three hours and I keep looking over here to see how the contest is going. You guys are very effective distraction.

Saint Antic said...

Another, Another!

We belive that the wine is the Blood
So listen you thick headed Chud.
Christ turns the bread to his body
And for me that ain't Shoddy
So quit being a stick on the Mud.