I obsess over Law and Order. They stay on the DVRecorder. Fred Thompson has left, And now I'm bereft. And also those shmoo things really freak my shit out because they have no arms. That's not okay.
All the rock fans in pain know The boys have gone soft in their main show No rock; it's all folk I just heard them invoke "There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow"
Instantly joining heavn's troop Are the nursery attendants group Treasures in heaven? Shirt change number seven Here's your crown; it's covered in puke
Just call me an NPR sinner Their programs make me lose my dinner They'd truly be winners If they just played some Skynyrd At last they'd have *all* things considered
Giuliani makes me want to vomit While Romney induces some vomit Huckabee causes vomit While McCain makes me vomit And Fred Thompson? I just want to vomit
Your kid just pissed a Lake Erie, My lap is now covered in hot pee, And now I will wager, You're ignoring the pager, COME GET YOUR DAMN KID OR SO HELP ME!
The Shmoon are shaped like bowling pins, And it seems like they've limitless grins, They double as food (They taste great when stewed) The only thing better is: Twins!
Spinal Tap had the schmalz, Plus bass player Derek Smalls. With the ladies he was a hit, By getting his pants to fit, And showing off his cucumber and balls.
Spinal Tap could crank it up to eleven, But oddly all their drummers ended up in heaven. And just like the boys from the band, I share with them something grand: On certain days, we eat bread that is unleaven.
17 comments:
I obsess over Law and Order.
They stay on the DVRecorder.
Fred Thompson has left,
And now I'm bereft.
And also those shmoo things really freak my shit out because they have no arms. That's not okay.
Here is a little Fred sonnet:
He looks like Wallace and Grommit
His expression’s a joke,
He looks like he’ll choke
On somebody else’s vomit
(This is funnier with hyperlinks, but I don't seem to be able to include them in my comment.)
An emailed submission:
From Jeff O'Donnell
Guiliani’s a little too crass
And Romney’s a bit upper class
The thought of McCain,
Just leaves me in Pain
Fred Thompson, get off of your ass!
you can use hyperlinks by doing this:
1. start with this tag: a href="http://danbuck.blogspot.com" (or wherever you want to go
Put that whole thing inside these brackets <>.
2. Then put the text you want to be hyperlinked. in my example: The coolest website EVER.
3. Use this as a closeing tag: /a
Again put that tag inside <>
And you should get this:
The coolest website EVER
All the rock fans in pain know
The boys have gone soft in their main show
No rock; it's all folk
I just heard them invoke
"There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow"
Instantly joining heavn's troop
Are the nursery attendants group
Treasures in heaven?
Shirt change number seven
Here's your crown; it's covered in puke
Just call me an NPR sinner
Their programs make me lose my dinner
They'd truly be winners
If they just played some Skynyrd
At last they'd have *all* things considered
Giuliani makes me want to vomit
While Romney induces some vomit
Huckabee causes vomit
While McCain makes me vomit
And Fred Thompson? I just want to vomit
Your kid just pissed a Lake Erie,
My lap is now covered in hot pee,
And now I will wager,
You're ignoring the pager,
COME GET YOUR DAMN KID OR SO HELP ME!
N to the P to the R,
Is on when I have to drive far,
Ira, Tavis, and Keillor,
Soothe me into...zzzzzzz,
Oh hell, I just crashed my car!
A big thank you, Mr. Buck
For crashing Ole Scotty's truck
Your limerick topics
Are never myopic...
Wiki says 'shmoo' came from 'schmuck'
joey
The Shmoon are shaped like bowling pins,
And it seems like they've limitless grins,
They double as food
(They taste great when stewed)
The only thing better is: Twins!
Oops. That one was me, too.
joey
Spinal Tap had the schmalz,
Plus bass player Derek Smalls.
With the ladies he was a hit,
By getting his pants to fit,
And showing off his cucumber and balls.
Spinal Tap could crank it up to eleven,
But oddly all their drummers ended up in heaven.
And just like the boys from the band,
I share with them something grand:
On certain days, we eat bread that is unleaven.
To Dad I'm a democrat flunkie.
To Wife I'm her smart little hunky.
At parties I float
Witty stories of note,
Cause I'm just an NPR junkie.
Let's try it again, and see if I can do the hyperlink thing:
Here is a little Fred sonnet:
He looks like Wallace and Grommit
His expression’s a joke,
He looks like he’ll choke
On somebody else’s vomit
It worked!
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